Dumb Things I've Done (Just This Week)

I bought some clothes on the internet this week for an upcoming trip. My husband is returning from the vast and great desert of the Middle East for a little R-n-R. That is actually what the military calls it. R-n-R. That would be Rest and Relaxation for you lay people. Back to the clothes. I have bought clothes from this website before. I trusted the sizing. I ordered pants and shirts and decided that I wanted them sooner than the date listed as my expected arrival date. How soon? Overnight. I forked up the $25.00 overnight shipping charge. Money well spent I thought.

Package arrived overnight as promised. I skipped back into my bedroom, so excited about trying on my new purchases. Excitement turned to dismay. EVERYTHING was too big. Shirts, too big. Pants, too big. Apparently I am thinner than I think (don't hate me). I stared at the package on my bed, all the clothes (tags still on) strewn around.

Sigh.

I so wanted to wear these next week. An idea! I ran upstairs and checked website. They still had the items I wanted in the next smaller size (don't hate me). I paid the overnight charge once, what's paying it again going to matter? Except that it would. It's after 5:00 on a business day so that would push the overnight delivery to the next day. Saturday. No Saturday delivery. And Monday is the 4th of July. Even overnighting it would only get it here on Tuesday, the 5th.

Unacceptable.

I check the box for overnight Saturday delivery. $35.00. Yep. I just paid a total of $60.00 in shipping charges for clothes that were on sale. Kind of negates the sale price, don't ya' think? And I have to drive 15 miles to the store that sells these clothes to return them so I can get the credit sooner.

Again. Sigh.

Other dumb things I have done is left the house with Andre and Alexander to take them to kindergarten and then soccer camp. In that order. Got on the main road, chatting them both up. Got to the soccer field where camp was being held. Let Alexander out. Realized that Andre was still in the back seat. Drove all the way back to the school to drop him off. He was 10 minutes late. Oops.

I picked up Alexander's phone to make a quick call. Started touching the screen to try and dial the number. Tossed him the phone telling him it was frozen and wasn't working. He pushes the keys and dials the number and tells me the phone is working fine. I tell him it wouldn't work when I touched the screen. And he then tells me that that's because it's not a touch screen. Oh....

Went to the gas station and only put in $15.00 because I didn't have our membership card which gives us a better deal. Drove around for awhile and used that $15.00 up. Went back to gas station. Same attendant was there. "Weren't you like just here an hour ago? Where'd you drive lady?" Um... I just didn't put enough in. He walked away shaking his head. I think I may have even got the you-are-one-dumb-lady look from him. You ladies know what I'm talking about. When a man looks at you and almost pities you because he thinks what you have just done is because you are a member of the lesser sex and obviously not capable of the level of thought required by the situation. I stuck my tongue out at him. Behind his back though. Besides, what does he know. He is only a gas station attendant. Ha!

Went to buy my son some soccer clothes for the above mentioned soccer camp. Looked up store online. Found address. Drove down street. Didn't see it. Drove down it again. Not there. Well, they say the third time is a charm. Drove down one more time. It still hadn't magically appeared. Called up store. They confirmed address. I almost said nuh-huh because I've been down that street, and let me tell you buddy, it ain't there! I then realized that I had been driving down the wrong street. And this is in the town I grew up in. Got to the great hidden soccer store. It had closed five minutes earlier.

All I can say is it's a good thing I'm going on vacation next week with my husband. My brain obviously needs a break. I am going to let him do all the thinking. Hmm... well, maybe not all the thinking. He did get us lost in Wyoming once. Or was it Idaho? Turns out, he didn't know where we were. He actually had to go to the gas station and ask, "What state is this?"

Have fun and stay smart.

Where Are We Going...

With Matt's time in Kuwait now starting to wind down, the reality that we will be moving next year is starting to sink in. Yes, we will be moving. No, there is no possibility that Matt would be stationed here in Utah. We're kind of lacking on Army bases around here. With this idea starting to become more concrete in my head, I've been mulling around the different bases that we could end up at. Here are a few of the possibilities.

Ft. Lewis, Washington - If we go here I will by rain boots and matching rain coats in every color of the rainbow. If I must be wet, at least I can be fashionable.

Ft. Carson, Colorado - Not much would change for me here. I would buy more pairs of hiking boots and a Subaru.

Ft. Polk, Louisiana - I would build a levee around my house and pray.

Ft. Bragg, North Carolina - I would buy river front property (it's on the river Cape Fear, you know, like the movie) and build an enclosed porch out back and sip mint juleps all evening.

Ft. Carson, South Carolina - I would buy a plantation and grow cotton and complain about Northern Aggression. Although, they mostly grow tobacco here.

Ft. Bliss, Texas - I would drag out the cowboy boots I bought on an impulse when I was 18 and I would drive a Ford pickup and say "get-a-long-little-doggy".

Ft. Sill, Oklahoma - I would probably begin drinking. Heavily. It's a real hole.

Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri - I would learn to shoot wild boar and roast it over an open fire pit in my back yard like Matt did with some soldiers when he was training there once.

Ft. Benning, Georgia - I will plant peach trees and make peach cobbler all summer long.

Ft. Drum, New York - Invest in a snow blower. A big one.

Ft. Shafter, Hawaii - Buy a case of sunscreen and lots of flowery dresses and straw hats. And lay around in a hammock drinking coconut milk.

Where would you want to go?